Wednesday, February 13, 2008

pity party

I am so mad at myself. I screwed up pretty badly by smoking. It was so stupid, I was so stupid and its just one more reason why teenagers shouldn't be trusted to make any deicisions ever about anything. There have been so many times when I have wished (as I smoked a cigarette in the rain/freezing weather/blistering sun) that I had never started but right now, this moment I am feeling that so acutely....
So I have worked my ass off to lose weight, over 50 pounds, from 209 to 150, I hadn't weighed that little since I was in highschool (granted I weighed less than that too but I did weight 150 at one point, before I got really into Thai Bo). Sure I havnt been working out like I should lately but I have been keeping busy and eating right...sigh.
When I went on my honeymoon last summer, I went completely off weight watchers. I drank all day long (mmm pina coladas on the beach..) I ate hamburgers and french fries for lunch every day and chicken nuggests and noodles everynight. When I got home I discovered I had gained 9 pounds, (over a week) and I lost it all a week later. Fast forward to now. Its been five days since I quit smoking, and I have gained 12.4 pounds, 4 of those pounds were gained in the last 24 hours.
Kill me.
Sure okay, yesterday I had whataburger for lunch, not great, its true. But I haven't eaten at whataburger in literally 6 months if not longer and I also had a three point smart one for dinner (3 points is nothing, NOTHING) and jogged for 40 mins, so whats with the four pound gain?
I feel like I am drowning in fatness. Poor Mac, I informed him today that it is going to be a long time before I get naked again.
Of course I had my bridesmaid dress altered when I was at 150.... I am scared I won't even be able to get it on.
I am so frustrated right now. So tomorrow is Valentine's Day, and Mac and I are going out to lunch. I will try to be reasonable, that's all I can promise. Friday I will start working out everyday, and quit the snacking I have been allowing myself to do since I quit smoking (even if it is just on pickles and popcorn)


Melissa Norris said...

Don't get discouraged. Once you get over the hump things will start evening out. Just try and stay on a schedule so that your metabolism doesn't do the jumpy thing. And drink your water!

Adrienne Aldredge said... didn't gain 4 pounds in a day! That's water weight, for shizz. I have literally stepped onto the scale in the morning and later that day, only to see a difference of 4 pounds. Try not to weigh everyday--it just serves to annoy you (or at least it does me).

Mrs E said...

thanks guys! yes, I need to drink more water, normally I am so good about that, but since the quit I have had a hard time opening my mouth, unless its to put a pickle in it

Anonymous said...

All that salt from the pickles and popcorn. I bet you barely gained any weight but it's all water that your body is saving because of the sodium. Drink more water and it will quickly go away.